options

How do I walk out the door and never come back it sounds like an easy thing to do but it is not, not when your codependent.
When you have been mentally ill and relied on parents, financially at times, and other ways.

How do I stop feeling like a scared child.
I know my situation at home is not healthy - I can not keep denying that it is not causing me damage.
but its the hardest thing ever to leave through the door

Last night I was looking at places to rent and flatmate situations. Made more complicated as I have animals.

I even thought about going to Women's refuge.
instead I rang them and told them what is happening.

I keep justifying my parents behavior in my mind and saying to myself I still have a lovely flat if I can get over the damage of my parents and their emotional and psychological abusing.

Maybe I can still live downstairs and pay my rent but choose to not see my parents, but that is not an option, as family is always in your face. So its like what other options are open to me.

1) stay and become more damaged and suicidal
2) get trauma counselling and help through stopping violence services whilst living at home
3) move out get own flat
4) move out move in with others flatmate situation
5)move towns to get some distance
6) marry lino and move in with him
7)suicide.

I do feel like it would be easier to commit suicide than leave my home environment for good!

But if I was to suicide my parents aren't going to be held accountable anyways for the years of damage.

I would love to hear from others who have been in an emotionally psychological abusive home and how they got free !


I do not know at this stage if i am strong enough to leave this abuse behind